Becoming a Dad More Like God

Me and Lincoln

I wanted to come back to Hebrews 13 to talk about dads. If God is a perfect heavenly Father, then His traits should guide my traits as a dad. Not all of His fatherly traits are here, but I think there are some good ones tucked in here. (In fact, Hebrews 12 is more direct about God’s fatherly discipline.)

A Dad Provides (for Needs)

“Your life should be free from the love of money. Be satisfied with what you have, for He Himself has said, I will never leave you or forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5 (HCSB)

Dads sometimes get a bad rap for only being providers for their families. Certainly they should be more than “just” providers, but don’t discount this God-given task. As Christians, we should be free from the love of money. Why? Because our heavenly Father will provide for our needs. He won’t leave or leave us lacking. In the same way, dad should be good provider for the needs of his family.  (And I am not saying that moms can’t also be providers; they just aren’t the topic today.) There is a warning here, though. Dads should not be so focused on providing for wants (eg., the love of money) that he cannot do anything else. To do that, I need to follow this Scripture by practicing contentment and trusting God to provide my needs. The truth is that He is a good Father and gives me so many good things beyond my needs.

A Dad Perseveres (No Matter What)

This is really my point from the other day, so I won’t belabor it. But a dad’s continuing presence leads to the next Godly trait.

A Dad Helps

Therefore, we may boldly say:  The Lord is my helper   Hebrews 13:6a (HCSB)

 This is where dads usually get beat up. They don’t help. Not with the kids, the house, or all the other stuff. Maybe we do deserve some criticism here when we put our selfish desires ahead of family (though I think there is often an unhealthy dose of unexpressed expectations from both sides). If God is a helper, then I can be one, too. Spiritual leadership doesn’t mean I just give out orders. I can choose to be a helper. Let me be a helper upon whom my family can boldly rely.

A Dad Protects

I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?   Hebrews 13:6b (HCSB)

When I provide, persevere, and help, then my family will not be afraid. They will trust me that I am protecting them as much as I can. God’s promise is even better – the ultimate protection of the Creator. However, this is not a protection FROM bad things, it is protection THROUGH them. Until sin is removed, there will be pain and hurt. But God walks through it with us. As a dad, I cannot protect my children from all pain. But I can help them walk through it without fear, first because I am with them, but most importantly because I have shown them that God is with them. I want to be a dad who protects!

When you think of God as Father, which of his traits  means the most to you? If you are a dad, which traits do you want God to build up in you today?

A Dad Who Will Never, Ever Leave

I am a pretty easy-going guy. But there are a few things that get my blood boiling. Probably the most personal is “dads” who leave. My daughter, Gwendolyn (8), has a mitochondrial disease. There are no cures, and it will probably end her life early. We know many other families who are facing the difficulties of these diseases. In too many cases, though, “dad” has left. Now it is just mom handling a child (or children) with special needs. Like Gwendolyn, most of these children need 24 x 7 care. That’s a tough job with two involved parents. Some “dads,” I guess, bail out because they can’t fix the problem so they just move on.  It is abandonment.  I won’t mince words – that is evil.

It is probably more personal to me because I didn’t have a dad that stayed either. My parents divorced when I was 7. I saw my dad each summer for a few weeks, but that was it. (We have built a better relationship as adults.) My mom remarried, and my stepdad did stay for awhile. He was an angry man, though, and the relationship was never strong. After I was gone, my mom divorced him. Anger was not his only problem, though I don’t know all the details. The strongest male figure in my life was my grandpa. I am so thankful for the investment he made in my life as a young boy and teen. However, I do sense that “something is missing” because dad was not around.

The Scriptures reveal to us a greater dad – our Father in heaven.  Listen to the promise quoted in Hebrews 13:5:

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”  (NIV – emphasis mine)

 Those “nevers” are even more emphatic in the original Greek language, with multiple negatives stacked together. It could be paraphrased as “I will never, no, not ever, no never abandon you.” There is no doubting the intent of this promise. God is a Father who says He will never leave, no matter what.

Can we trust Him that it is true? My experience says, “yes!” When I walked away from God, he did not leave. When I have disobeyed him directly, He did not abandon me. When I shouted “WHY!?” He patiently listened. When I need Him most, I find Him. He has been true to His promise even though I have never deserved it. You can trust Him too!

How have you found God faithful to this promise to never leave? In my next post, I will talk about the results of this ever-present fatherhood.